yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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