I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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