my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
