I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
