Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
