Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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