i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize