we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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