There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
