I need help removing her.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
