Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
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Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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