The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize