i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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