i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
