my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
