Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
