i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
