Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
