I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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