for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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