I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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