I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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