i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
two words: eviction party
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
