We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He felt like a one man threesome
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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