No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
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YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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