There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize