Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
