Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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