i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize