we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
is it fun? or sober?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
