I cockslap morals
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
