Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
