After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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