Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
