Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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