I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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