I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
