no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
