just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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