So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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