so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
