Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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