First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
