We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
