Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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