Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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