I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
