All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
