You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
