i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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