No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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