He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
