You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
