New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
