Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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