just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
