I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
