I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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