Already got asked if we're dating
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
