Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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