Pants 0. Shit 1.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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