her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize